The 22 Horror Movies of Christmas

These are chronological because good or bad are such subjective terms when dealing with Christmas films…

The Devil-Doll (1936)
Adapted by Tod Browning from the novel “Burn, Witch, Burn,” by Abraham Merritt, an escaped Devil’s Island convict uses miniaturized humans to seek his revenge on those that framed him. This includes the tiny humans disguising themselves as Christmas ornaments on a tree to hide while awaiting a victim.

A Christmas Carol (1938)
A Christmas-hating miser is tormented by a series of ghosts who force him to relive the highlights and lows of his life.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
Martians children are too serious, so the Martians elders decide to kidnap Santa and force him to bring joy to the Martian children. With the help of two earth children, Santa leads a revolt in order to return to earth in time to save Christmas.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966)
Boris Karloff narrates the story of a cave-dwelling hermit who plans to thwart the advent of Christmas by burglarizing every single house in the local village and stripping the town of all holiday trappings.

Black Christmas (1974)
Director Bob “Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things” Clark tells the tale of sorority sisters trying to make plans for Christmas break in between receiving threatening phones and tripping over dead coeds.

Silent Night, Bloody Night (1974)
A man inherits a mansion from his grandfather who was killed on Christmas Eve, 1950. Twenty years later, it’s Christmas again and the grandson discovers that the house happens to be a former mental institute for the criminally insane. Now people are dying but it’s hard to tell if it’s an old psychotic, a new psychotic or a new killer.

You Better Watch Out (1980)
A boy is emotionally scarred when he discovered that Santa is not real. He becomes a toy-maker, trying to reinvigorate the Christmas spirit. He becomes increasingly obsessed with the behavior of children. When he is faced with seasonal hypocrisy, he snaps, just in time for a yuletide killing spree.

Don’t Open ‘Till Christmas (1984)
A murderer is stalking the streets of London, killing people dressed as Father Christmas in a variety of increasingly unpleasant and messy ways.

Gremlins (1984)
A cautionary tale about giving pets as Christmas gifts, a bank teller is giving a mogwai for Christmas, and manages to break two of the three rules for caring for it, resulting in a picturesque small town being overrun with malicious gremlins.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
A thief in a Santa suit kills a young boy’s parents while he watches. Sent to an orphanage, he is mistreated by the Mother Superior. He gets a job at a local department store, where he finally snaps when forced to wear a Santa suit. His killing spree is on an intercept course back to the orphanage.

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Sheriff Brody’s widow and kids are in Amity for the holidays when another Great White decides to make one of the Brody kids into a yuletide snack. The surviving Brodys flee to the Bahamas but the shark is following them. Now it’s personal.

Child’s Play (1988)
A serial killer escapes from the police by using magic to transfer his soul into a doll. A boy get the doll as a Christmas gift but no one believes him when he says his doll is evil, even after the bodies start to pile up.

Elves (1989)
A teenage virgin becomes the focus of an modern-day Nazi experiment to create a race of super Nazis soldiers. Now, she and two friends are trapped in a department store with a supernaturally summoned elf. Now, only an ex-cop turned department store Santa can save them.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Jack Skellington, king of Halloweentown is bored with the October routine. He discovers Christmas Town and assumes the role of Sandy Claws. Trouble is, he’s a little iffy on the whole concept of the holiday.

The Day of the Beast (1995)
A Basque priest’s cabalistic studies predict the Anti-Christ will be born on Christmas day in Madrid. With a metal head rocker and the host of a TV paranormal program, he attempts to raise Satan and force him to identify where the child will be born to prevent the End of Days.

Santa Claws (1996)
A boy finds his divorced mother having sex with a man in a Santa Clause hat and kills them both. Years later and still traumatized, the boy now thinks he is Santa Clause. Complicating things, he’s also obsessed with horror film starlet named Raven.

The Minion (1998)
On Christmas Eve, as the new millennium is poised to begin, a NYC construction crew excavates an impossibly old skeleton. Now an archaeologist and a Knight Templar must battle an ancient immortal evil.

Feeders 2: Slay Bells (1998)
The infamous Polonia Brothers revive their alien carnivores. This time the aliens invade Earth over the Christmas holidays, and it’s up to Santa Claus and his elves to save the world.

Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys (2004)
A descendant of the original puppet master is pursued by an evil toy making syndicate seeking the reanimation formula that will animate their dolls into little plastic killing machines on Christmas Eve.

P2 (2007)
A business woman gets stuck working late on Christmas Eve just to discover she’s locked in the parking garage and the security guard is a psychopath who is madly in love with her, emphasis on the mad part.

Bikini Bloodbath Christmas (2009)
Picking up where the first two Bikini Bloodbaths left off, competing cafes open Santa stands in the mall, which of course leads to a bikini battle in a graveyard that resurrects a recurring serial killer amidst a plethora of nudity, scatological gags and occasion plot.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)
On Christmas Eve in Finland, an archaeological dig unearths the frozen original Santa, who is not a jolly old elf at all. Soon, reindeer are being slaughtered, children are disappearing and an army of ancient evil elves are amassing to free their leader.

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About goudsward

Writer of stuff not easily categorized. (Trust me, I got the royalty checks to prove it)
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